I wanted to update my blog most of the time in 2013-2015. But during those years, I had been through a lot of negativity because of my circumstances. The heartbreaking part of it is that my relationship with my dad is strained, even until now. I’ve mostly dealt with anger and depression because of him.
My dad has made a lot of decisions that harmed a few of my loved ones. Whenever I tried reasoning with him, he wouldn’t listen. And whenever I got mad at him (when reasoning with him wouldn’t work), his health condition would worsen.
Since last year, I don’t talk to him a lot to avoid getting angry whenever he decides on something. But sometimes being silent can make me depressed. Sometimes I’d silently cry in my room or express my feelings to someone else from my family.
Nowadays, being depressed drains my energy. That’s why I try to ignore feeling negative emotions by being optimistic. Being optimistic is fine for a while. But sometimes I want to be honest about my feelings.
Part of the reason why my relationship with my dad is strained is because of our different principles. He values money, whereas I value happiness. The thing that I love about my career is that I get to create and experiment food. In 2015, I kept trying to figure out what was the connection between my current job and my childhood. And I realized that as a kid, I was mostly creating art using my hands without caring what other people would say about it. That’s something that was missing from my previous job.
This is pretty much it about my life so far. I don’t wanna lengthen it because it would be too depressing to read. :-)
Photo credits to: Love This Pic